TROY RAWLINGS
Sex & Love/ Raw Uncut
“STRONGER THAN SEXUALITY”
I believe most adults who have lived a little and have experienced loving and being loved would say that love is better than sex. That’s right, I said it! Sex is awesome on purpose! Like comedian Franklin Ajaye said, God wanted to make sure we always had people on earth…therefore sex is off the Fucking chain…literally. But beyond that, I have had in my mind for some years now that love, attraction, and chemistry are greater than our “defined” sexuality. What do I mean? To put it bluntly, it’s not crazy to me to hear that a lesbian fell in love with some guy, or a straight man had feelings that he couldn’t explain for another man. Oh shit…I got your attention now!
One of the things that started me on this train of thought was an experience I had in 1996 with a female client who was lesbian. She wasn’t just lesbian; she was as “Butch” as they come. But we had a good relationship that went from cordial, to friendly, to flirty, to where are we going with this. Being a straight man I was attracted to everything woman about her, including her hard edge. But what was it that she saw in me? Was it the supposed “natural” chemistry between a man and a woman? As a young man it was easy for me to think that now I was the shit! Even gay women wanted me!! Uhhh no…nothing ever came of it. And I know now that we humans have a very limited perception about the power of love and true attraction.
Putting aside the fact that I do believe we need some type of rules and laws to help us govern ourselves as a civilized society, what would happen if we allowed ourselves to love one another without pretense? Without saying, “Oh I can’t be this close to them because…” Now in no way am I saying that we should go out and try to have a homosexual or heterosexual experience to show that we’re open. No, what I’m saying is that if we’re only using about 10-20% of our brain, is a part of our supreme intelligence the ability to let ourselves be attracted to whoever we’re attracted to regardless of our sexual orientation?
Now if you’re gay and know it to your core, fine. Same goes for being heterosexual. But let’s not be so quick to judge and ostracize those who go against the grain and don’t conform to what we think they should do. And even with this being said, I’ve only mentioned the two main spectrums of sexuality; homo and hetero. I haven’t mentioned bisexuals, transgender, transsexuals… Some people still have a problem with interracial couples. Imagine what would happen if Susie came home and told her boyfriend that she was falling in love with her friend Tammy… but she doesn’t consider herself gay. This happens more often than we think. I believe many people are scared, confused, frustrated and even suicidal because they can’t figure out what’s wrong with them. And the honest answer is nothing is wrong with them. Maybe they tapped into a greater humanity by loving more openly.
I realize my religious and conservative brothers and sisters are going to hate this. So what, it’s my blog! Someone needs to know there is nothing wrong with them because they’re falling for someone that they feel like they shouldn’t be falling for. What you should research, if this is your situation, is what is it about this person that has you head over heels for them; or even just slightly attracted to them. And if you can be honest with your true self, then you will undoubtedly grow from the experience and learn more about the person you are.
Let me say this as well, mental illness, perversions, and psychotic tendencies are real. If so have a history of any of these things, seek psychiatric attention. This blog is not for you. But if you consider yourself and your friends consider you a “normal” heterosexual or homosexual person who knows where you stand in your sexuality yet one day you find yourself attracted to or falling for something different… Don’t go crazy. Instead find out what qualities are drawing you in. You may realize that love truly has no boundaries.
Until The Next Time,
Much Love
Troy
